CONFLICT RESOLUTION

FOR

PEOPLE PLEASERS

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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PEOPLE PLEASER

 

The day starts with the resolve to speak your mind, to really speak your truth today. 

Then there’s the urge … the oh-so-familiar urge to please that shows up front and center when you really wish it didn’t ...

People pleasing — at first it sounds like a desirable and altruistic way of being, right?

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The tendency for consideration and care for others comes across as natural kindness and yet you realize how it is just part of how this story goes in your life –

oh look at me, I’m so kind and helpful

and…

Ugh here it is again - I’m losing myself in the downward spiral of trying to please the people around me and at the very same moment I’m losing myself and what’s important to me.

All the early warning signs popping off in your mind and still you couldn’t help yourself.

I know ... it’s hard to admit it. You’re actually super brave to be staying with me here. I know how hard it is to look at this stuff (even when it is staring you right in the face!!!)

It might be helpful to consider some of the ways you’ve found yourself trying to please others in the past … 

  • You apologize when you’ve not done anything wrong
  • You stay quiet about your own needs and wants
  • You say “yes” when you mean “no”
  • You wonder if you even know your own needs
  • You feel overwhelm and busyness WAY too much. Hello, long to-do list!
  • You avoid conflict with a fierceness
  • You feel resentful when you say “yes”
  • You’re always on the brink of burnout
  • Your relationships lack satisfaction—and are full of frustration  

When people-pleasing goes beyond occasional kindness and grows into a continual state of being, that's when you run the risk of losing sight of who you really are. This is when it all becomes troublesome and even problematic and moves so far away from the intended altruism. 

And here's the deal. We are all impacted by this. We end up with a whole bunch folks being swayed by belief systems, people, and ideas that are completely out of alignment with who they really are.

The world suffers from this lack of transparency and authenticity.

BUT WHAT IF THERE WAS A DIFFERENT WAY?!

 

WHAT IF ...

... there was a way to stop editing yourself and altering your behavior to meld into what you think will please others?

... instead of getting stuck in this trap again and again, you were able to finally take a stand and say what you really want to say?

... you were able to stop acquiescing and appeasing for the benefit of others?

How would it feel if you were able to become more authentic, transparent and, dare I say, more vulnerable with people — so you can break free from this never-ending cycle of push and pull you’ve been on for far too long?

What if doing whatever it takes to not rock the boat were to become a distant memory and no longer the truth of you?

How would that feel?

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MY guess is that it would feel a bit scary at first … however, if you were to try it and do it long enough, you’d discover a whole new level of confidence in your life that you’ve never experienced before. 

I’d venture to guess it could very well be forever life-changing. 

What’s also cool ... is you’d be able to create deeper connections with others because when you are honest and forthcoming, you start to experience that intimacy you've always craved ... at a whole new level.

It’s like where you were previously holding back, now you are being fully candid and straight up about how you feel ... this changes everything in relationships.  Because all of a sudden you are coming from transparency and truth rather than sugar coating everything and holding back.

SO HERE’S WHAT I’M DOING FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE RESONATING WITH THIS…

 

I’ve developed an 8-week class to help you overcome people-pleasing. And, yes, part of that will be conflict resolution. But we’re going to make it fun!

When you keep in mind that your joy, satisfaction, and authenticity are the reason we’re doing this, it’s simple.

It really can be simple.

And that you've continued to carry this pattern in your life isn't because you’re waiting for some fiery bottom— it’s just because you haven’t known that there was another way.

You don’t have to burn out first like I did.

HI. I'M MEGHAN.

 

YOUR CONFLICT RESOLUTION COACH

I used to rehash every conversation I had with folks—thinking of how I wished I’d shown up, how if I had my wits about me, I would have said “no.” I was so worried about managing other people’s perceptions of me that I piled one thing after another onto my plate.

I would bask in the glory of hearing people say:

Look at her. Look at all that she can manage. How amazing is that?!

I’d trained folks to believe that I could handle heaps of projects, tasks, commitments, endeavors, relationships … 

I can handle it all and don't need anyone else. I help you. You don’t help me. 

Underneath the facade of helpfulness I was crumpling. 

(Btw - I used to identify as a Two on The Enneagram. I am not a Two, folks! Probably a Seven. But I digress).

So much of what I carried was good. All good stuff. But all together, all at the same time, it was too heavy.

I didn’t know what to do anymore. I needed help.

I sought teachers and communities that could teach me to unpack all that was on my plate and to understand why I put it there in the first place.

Underneath it all was a deep, deep desire (felt like need) to be loved. But I abandoned myself in the pursuit. I had to confront this so that I could liberate a true expression of myself.

I learned that no one can save me from the limiting beliefs within myself. It’s an inside job! I learned that I would have to be willing to be disliked, misunderstood, and judged to stay true to my own inner knowing. 

This doesn’t mean I sought those things out by stirring up unnecessary conflict. But when conflict showed up, I dug into my toolbelt and did my absolute best to meet it with authenticity. As a result, I found how not to abandon myself for the approval of another.

And I can't wait to share these tools I learned with you.

I mean ... sometimes it does matter what others think 😉 Here's what past clients have to say:

"I was feeling drained from life, my kids, all the responsibilities and load I've been carrying. It was so nice to allow someone else to support me and pour into me because I'm normally the one doing that for others. I'm so grateful Meghan was able to alleviate the weight and stress I've been feeling."

 
K. Domiana

"Meghan is a very intuitive person and has a gift of seeing people beyond their words and pick up on the key meaning of what they are saying. She has kept me on track and accountable. She provided me with the right questions to ask myself for discovery. Encouraged me the entire time and provided great feedback. I can and will continue to use the tools she’s given me."

 
Jane

"I was pleasantly surprised by how Meghan’s coaching and prompts opened me up to more creativity! I have been able to show up for myself in ways that I didn’t know I could but always wanted to. I have continued to build self trust, confidence, and more flow with creativity! I feel more in touch with my creativity and joy."

 
Sandy

HERE’S HOW WE’RE GOING TO DO THIS TOGETHER 

 

We get started on Tuesday, July 19th! 

 

Over our 8 weeks, you’ll receive a weekly recorded presentation about the topic to review on your own, accompanied with exercises for self-inquiry. Then we’ll meet as a group for 90 minutes to put the lessons in practice — we’ll review, role play, and explore integration practices and tools such as journaling, EFT Tapping and lots more.

WHAT TO EXPECT

 

Week 1     1 Truth and 10 Lies: What people-pleasing is and isn’t

  • Defining people pleasing and 
  • Why it isn’t what it seems at first glance
  • Is it unhealthy?  

Week 2     Name that Narrator. How to identify that people-pleaser voice

  • Noticing the voices inside of people pleasing 
  • Creativity and imagination have a part  

Week 3     Choose Your Mask. Which people-pleasing style are you?

  • Recognizing your personal patterns of people pleasing
  • Self-inquiry and evaluation  

Week 4     Take the Doormat off Your Back … it costs too much!

  • Evaluating what people pleasing is costing you  
  • Looking at the price your relationships pay 

Week 5     Your Best Defense (without being defensive): The Past

  • Breaking conditioned reactions that cause you to people please
  • Breaking free from that urge to please. 
  • Dismantling the rote reactions that cause you to people-please  

Week 6     Mission Totally Possible: Meet and beat the urge to please

  • Identifying the challenges you’ll face 
  • Building skills to overcome them  

Week 7     Know your Allies: intentions, values, and conflicts 😳

  • Values, strengths — and clear intentions 
  • Who do you really want to be (when you aren’t people pleasing)
  • How to know when YOU are pleased. Yes, you!  

Week 8     Remove the mask and step out as (the really real) you

  • Resolving conflict with your new toolkit - 
  • Revealing the new (maybe OG!) you to the world 

Feeling this but not quite ready?

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